Personal Post Ahead
I want to preface this possibly long and ranty post by saying most of my thoughts are rambles. The following thoughts are probably not going to be organized or censored because I’m chatting from the heart.
The day has come where I completely forgot a date I had planned with another person. That’s it – that’s why this post is being written. I have a feeling a majority of you reading are probably wondering why that’s such a big deal or are mentally categorizing me into the ‘dramatic much??’ group right about now. But it is a big deal, to me.
Time is something we can’t get back. It is also something that most of us take for granted. I hold the value of someone’s time very cautiously. Last week, I invited another person out for coffee and became so wrapped up in personal issues that took a front seat this week that I completely forgot about her this morning… sitting at coffee… waiting. Now let me just tell you that this friend was so sweet and completely understood this fault of mine. I’m not writing this post as an apology because trust me, I sent plenty of Facebook messages to drill in the fact that I am so embarrassed and sorry I missed our date. A date I was really looking forward to!
There is an imaginary spotlight that I think most people feel they have on them. This expectation to do it all and be it all with perfection. But that is far from reality. There is also this idea that if we overshare our personal lives or talk about the not so fun side of life, we will only be seen and heard as complainers. Life is not all fairy dust and marshmallows, so why do we pretend it is? Because these ideas of perfection are pushed in our faces on a regular basis, we hold ourselves to unreachable high standards and don’t offer ourselves grace when we need it most. I am the hardest on myself, so this morning’s misstep is not a good feeling at all.
I suppose this post is a little grace for myself, as I am a faulty human just like my neighbor. And this time my fault affected someone else, which is where my humility is kicking in. I can’t do it all. I dream I can and those dreams are powerful. But today I am being reminded that life isn’t always about the rush of busy or the picture of perfection. I’m fully embracing the me that is messy and over-commits but also realizing a step back to regroup is ok.